The Blog In Yellow

One of the aspects of Lovecraft's works that I think goes unnoticed by readers is the vulnerability of his characters. This goes under the radar for some because Lovecraft often uses the same archetypes for his humans such as researchers or intellectuals. People he would enjoy in his own circle. But this common trope limits the effectiveness of his characters. Other writers have expanded upon his origin but the fact is that the more human the characters, the more potent the interaction with the supernatural. 

Two days ago I had a bad writting day. The air was cold and I was not having it. But I sat down and wrote anyway, even though I knew that it would be difficult. And I barely got a paragraph out of me. So, I go to work, feeling like the worst writer who ever lived. I do my job, take people's plates, and I mumble prayers under my breath. I tell God that I can't go anywhere if I'm only able to write a paragraph a day, I need more pages under my belt. I'm passing by an older guy and he stops me as I collect his plate. He thanks me for the meal and he tells me that he's been watching me for a few years. Whether that is true or not, I don't know. It could be the ramblings of a man with dementia for all I know. But he says something to me that strikes me, he says "you do a good job, you'll go far." I'll go far? At first, I was ready to dismiss what he was saying. Just a coincidence, no way that it's from God. But all good things come from God. So ...

For the past three days I've been in a spiral. I encountered a crotechy old man who called me a "fat bastard" after I took his plate. My job is to take used plates so that I can clean them but apparently that didn't sit well with the old man. His words cut into me and left me wounded. I think it hurt a lot more because I am overweight. I can't recall the last time I was called "fat." But more than his words, it was the surprise that struck me. I didn't have enough guards up to expect a sneaky punch like that. So I went home and called my folks who prayed for me and tried to comfort me. They were surprised that I was taking his words so seriously. It was obvious that he was an old man out of his mind. But his words bounced around in me like an echo chamber. "Fat bastard." "Fat bastard." "Fat bastard." Forward two days and we get to yesterday. I had to go back to work and that meant confronting the old man again. I had pra...

Afternoon has come and I finally feel better than how I woke up this morning. The day started out poorly and I felt as bad as I usually feel when Winter comes. I felt weak, unmotivated, and overall depressed. I got up despite my feelings and tried to put on a brave face but the mask quickly fell off. Thankfully, the weather warmed up in time before work. I think this confirms that I have an issue with the weather. I don't know when it started because I used to love colder weather as a kid. I spent time in the snow with my sister and we made Calvin and Hobbes Snow Goons; snowman monstrosities. I wish there was some medicine that could fix this but maybe therapy can help me get out of my slump. 

I dove into my pile of games and pulled out two that have stuck with me for the past two weeks. I can't believe this but I'm at a point right now where I'd rather write than play games. What miracle has happened to me? Anyway, the games are "Stellar Blade" and "Ball X Pit." These two games couldn't be more opposite of each other but the differences in their gameplay is what I wanted to talk about. Stellar Blade tells the story of Eve, an android that ventures to Earth with her fellow angels to rid the planet of an alien scurge. The plan quickly falls apart and Eve is the only one left standing. Having to purge the world of monsters by yourself is a daunting task but she gets some help along the way from surviving humans in the last city on Earth. The gameplay is the focus here and it's wonderful. You are given a sword and a gun in the form of a drone that floats around you. Players would be forgiven for thinking this game is a knock off of the Ni...

I want to take a moment and talk about two anime/mangas that have taken up my interest. First is Kusuriya no Hitorigoto or The Apothecary Diaries. Set in some...era in China I'm assuming, a young girl named Maomao gets caught up in the incidents and crimes happening in the royal palace. Maomao is a captured servent girl who becomes the royal poison tester, a dangerous job that she takes to like a fish to water. In her previous job, she was the apprentice of a medicine man so her interests in poison and chemicals is a natural high for her. If you know anything about the typical royal palace, you know that it's filled with drama, death, and politics. Maomao has to navigate these incidents without drawing too much attention to herself. Her interest is in the medical aspects behind the poisoning. In fact, she's not only willing to be poisoned, she wants to study the effects. She's akin to a female Dr. House in her zest for life is in the disease, not the person afflicted. S...