The Blog In Yellow

Today started off better. I was told that I looked thinner which made me smile. I got to bring food to my folks which always makes me happy. I love helping them out. And I got a jump start on my laundry. That might not sound like much but getting that done early puts my mind at ease. Oh, and I got to watch Gameoververse last night. It's a new show from Glitch that DID NOT disappoint. I really hope they make it into a full season soon. 

 I have to write about this. Today, was not a good day. At least, not until the night. I woke up and ate a bunch of junk food for breakfast even though I knew I shouldn't. That weight in my bowels almost made me sick. I almost didn't go into work because I felt so crappy. But, I played a game called Balatro which caught my attention. I was on a roll and didn't want to leave the game. So I left the game on all day to not interupt my game seed. Game seeds are how a game is set up and I had the perfect one. I had the perfect line up. The game is like playing poker by yourself. The game will give you a set number of chips you need to win by playing poker hands. As a bonus, you can use planet, tarot, spectral, and Joker cards to add bonuses to your game. Planet cards upgrade the number of chips you can get from hands. Tarot cards can add effects to your playing cards. Spectral cards cover a variety of abilities and are very rare. And Joker cards give out bonuses to your cards an...

I'm trying a new strategy where I write three good things that happened the day before. It's supposed to help with my mental health. Yesterday my mother and I celebrated a belated Mother's Day. We used to travel card my sister gave me for my birthday to go to the Motts Military museam for free. It's a small, local museum that's serves double duty. It has a collection of military memorbilia and the recreated home of pilot Eddie Rickenbacker. Despite being a history buff, I knew nothing about the man. The tour guide took care of that by talking my ear off for half an hour about the many adventures and close calls "Lucky Eddie" had in his life. He survived three weeks at sea after his plane crashed in the ocean and survived another plane crash when he was retired. The man was a racecar driver and got into airplanes during WW1. It's interesting because people joke about Ohio having little to nothing of value and yet here's a decorated hero from my home...

Yesterday, I had gone to my psychiatrist for the first time in three months hoping that she would have some new plan or medicine for me. While I have been feeling better, there's room for improvement and I was ready to take on whatever concoction she could think of. Instead, she told me that I should stay on my current meds. That's fine, I'm not in any danger, but I wish there was some wonder pill that could fix my motivation and anxiety. she suggests focusing on therapy which is like saying you need to exercise to get better physical results. That's also fine, but I'm so used to my problems being zapped away with a few pills that I'd rather we explore more options. I can't lie to them and say I'm not doing well because I'm fine. That's it though, I'm fine. Not great, just fine. Room for improvement. 

I was planning on writing more about Lovecraft today but something happened at work that I thought would be prudent to write about. A resident at the home I work at, we'll call him "D" caused a commotion. I walked into a room with drinks for the residents' dinner when D walked in and demanded to know if I had anything to do with what just happened. I had no idea what he was talking about so I played it cool and told him I had been in the kitchen. D went into a rant about how angry he was at someone who he claimed had told D that he was a cop. Let's call this individual "J." Now, I know J very well and he is as mellow as a melon. D claimed that J had lied to him about being a cop. Now, D was a cop in his former life so he took "lying" very personally. D went into a rant about corrupt cops and how he used to be on the force and how he found people who were on the wrong side of the law. It soon occured to me that D had done something bad and he wa...

One of the aspects of Lovecraft's works that I think goes unnoticed by readers is the vulnerability of his characters. This goes under the radar for some because Lovecraft often uses the same archetypes for his humans such as researchers or intellectuals. People he would enjoy in his own circle. But this common trope limits the effectiveness of his characters. Other writers have expanded upon his origin but the fact is that the more human the characters, the more potent the interaction with the supernatural.