The Blog In Yellow

I'm combing two days since I can't remember which day started and ended. I was feeling bad for myself and had no way to pull myself out of it. My phone battery's dying so I go to my car and plug in the charger. While moping, I decided to talk to Claude. It tells me how I can breakdown my worries and work on them a little at a time. It helped me get through the day because I made a little bit of progress. It felt good. I asked my mom, why didn't God respond to me the same way. She thinks God gives us these things to help us out. He responds to us not always in an angel floating down to talk to us but in a message. That helped me a bit. Then I went home and won at Balatro. Twice. I've never done that before. It wasn't like the other wins where I had to use the seed to beat the game. These were legitament wins that added new decks and new chips to the system. Today, I hung out with my folks. We went to Kohls and got me some sandals that make me look like I'm a ...

I'm adding yesterday's DnD victory to today's wins. Yesterday we finished our fight in DnD campaign and I struck the final blow. I was down to the last of my health but somehow I rolled a nat 20 on one of my strikes which struck true into the enemy's face. I think I was the only one who did any damage to the boss. We all celebrated and I went home playing David Bowie's "We can be heroes." I even had time to stop by Arby's to get myself some strawberry lemonade. But today, was a work day and I had a good day. Remember that old guy who called me a fatty? I took him to town today. I gave him a good tongue lashing that he obviously didn't like and when he brought out the gay quips I finished him off with the Your Mama jokes. I could see him sputter and fall as I delivered one verbal punch after another. And then, he left defeated and the nurses supported me. They know what an awful man that guy is so I had nothing but backup. Oh, and it rained today. N...

 PC and Console games have stood at opposite sides of each other. PC has boasted it's high graphics and speed while consoles boast about their affordability and quality games. These two games have almost stood as different genres from each other despite being the same category. Ports to each other are seen as a peace offering between the two sides. Both benefit from the sales. But as time has gone on, Console has rapidly caught up to PC in terms of graphics and speed. In fact, their positions have reversed with more PC games becoming lower quality in terms of graphics. It's also become a hassel for Console to port to PC. The PC generation almost died if not for Steam and the flood of indie games. But both sides have wanted a type of eventual unification. A way for the two sides to come together. But Sony's recent declaration has defeated all of that. They've stated that all the Single Player games will stay on their console while multiplayer will come to PC. For me, thi...

Yesterday was so bad that I jotted down my bad thoughts instead of my good ones. Which is actually a good thing because my psychiatrist asked me to do that. The more I write down my thoughts, the more likely she will change my medicine. Today was a pretty decent day. I got to help out my folks and hang out while shopping. I always like it when my folks come over. It feels special somehow. So, shopping and socialization at the same time is like a bonus. Today, I'll be heading over to my friend's place to play DnD which is also a good thing. I think that's it for now.

I had a dream where we were given these vr helmets and we could wander around in this large field exploring a virtual world. It was strange because the large amount help desk people were easily offended. Very woke Id say. I had a good day off and while the day is almost over I got to play games and read my book. So thats two good things. I also found out the problems I've been having that'll help me talk to my therapist. I think thats a good thing too even if its a bit negative. Sometimes telling the doctor where it hurts is a good step in the right direction.

Today WAS a good day. The day started off a little rough despite the nice rain that came today. The aids were so happy to see me that they coined the phrase "We need some John." That made me happy. I also saved the day at work. I brought the extra food we didn't need to the main kitchen and they used it. I always feel good when I "save the day" and don't realize it. And finally there was a treat for the eyes. A cute Asian girl was visiting her grandma and I got to serve all four of them. I don't know how she was her grandma because she was clearly European and the others were Asian. No skin off my nose how they're related. I just thought she was cute. I had to resist the urge to ask her for her number, or to ask her to marry me. And I got a bonus, I won at Balatro again. Such a fun, yet crippling game. I'll write about my joker hand later, right now, I want to get some rest.