The Blog In Yellow

There's always strange lingo used in British stories. I was swept in Campbell's shortly only to be comically reminded that it took place in England. The Tugging follows a reporter named Ingles who has trouble sleeping and wakes to find himself troubled when he looks at the morning sky. At an art exhibit he's covering, a strange painting of Atlantis catches his eye. Ingles recalls a strange dream where he entered a city on an island with a planet or moon behind it. During this dream he feels his eardrums burst at the sound of something. He sees a plae figure, probably Yog-Sothoth behind the doors. Throughout the story, Ingles picks up more clues from reports about a strange planet coming close to the earth and students on LSD dreaming of sunken cities. This leads Ingles to confront his father about the bad dreams they shared and discovers his grandfather may have been part of a cult. Tracking down the cult's meeting place, Ingles finds ancient books and a special telesco...

Often the reason behind Lovecraft's characters' motivations is a desire to have answers which in turn pulls at the threads of reality. Bit that's as deep as some characters go. I've been finishing up Charles Dexter Ward and I'm at loss for what the villain wants. Ward's ancestors, Joseph Curwen doesn't seek out these dangerous magics for any reason other than because he can. He's already blessed with long life but why dive deeper into the darkness? Perhaps he wants more? More what? More knowledge? People often seek knowledge for a reason. "I did this because blah, blah, blah." A reason, a motivation is needed in today's stories. This ambiguity can add a layer to the fear. You wonder, "for what purposes did these men practice this evil?" Perhaps it is out of our realm to understand their motives.  That's what drives me nuts, i always want an answer but I forget that subtlety is sometimes the better answer. 

I've had few games sear my soul like Mouthwashing. The only game I can think of that comes close is Amnesia The Dark Descent. This is a psychological horror games set in the far future. A group of transporters find themselves stuck in space. Beyond thst, the less you know, the better. Where do I begin with this game? How about the fact I was so endeared by one of the characters that I almost bought a plushy of her, before I saw the price.  Let's start at the beginning with a bandaged skinless man who used to be the captain. A deadly crash has filled most of the ship with sealing foam and enough supplies for a few months for all five crew members. Meanwhile we pray that someone finds us in time. From there, madness descends.  Gameplay is simple. You use a darklight to show you the captains access codes. Most of the time you're walking through the ship finding items or talking to the crew. I've never been one for too much dialogue but everyone is so well written and made ...

I was intrigued by the name alone when I bought this game. I've been trying to find Lovecraftian games to inspire my writing and this is...one of them. I guess. Stars Die is about a character name Dybowski who visits a strange island after abandoning her post. An event called "The Hole," has occurred and killed billions of people on earth. This island also popped up while The Hole happened and seems to be connected. Maybe it holds the keys to curing the disease, or maybe it's the next step of evolution for the earth. The game never tells you. Each of the characters you meet on the island have their own answers and endings. You get to join them on this strange adventure. The island is pretty large but it's fine sine your character runs like Sonic and jumps like they're on the Moon. The main gameplay, in a form, is interacting with these people. T he story reminds me of The Thing. People trapped in a dire situation and they have to make hard choices. First we ha...

After putting it off for a year, I finally got into Baldurs Gate 3 with a friend. It makes me a bit sad though because he's far a head and I'm just starting. It makes me feel left behind. Thay said, I guess it counts as Lovecraftian since my characters starts with a mindflayer worm put into his eye. I know the monsters are based off of Lovecraftian lore so that helps a bit. 

I've enjoyed working on Aimee. She might be my favorite. Time for the next character.

I'm hoping to find a way to be more subtle about the Lovecraft stuff in my story. It's been causing me a headache for four days. Just mulling it over in my head hurts. 

I'm feeling better after...expelling all of that. I need to do better in writing but I also need to be okay with where I'm at right now. One thing though, just one thing. I can't have my characters pull at reality willingly. My problem has always been seeing the problem but not knowing how to fix it. Like hammering in a nail with a wrench.

Darn it, darn it, darn it! I'm such a fool. I forgot that Lovecraft is about the subtle, unknowing, unspeakable horror. Not the monsters. Here i am writing about a girl with a connection to Yog-sothoth when the question about what she is connected to should be the story. The less she knows the better. The big reveal at the end of The Shadow Over Innsmouth is about the protagonist discovering his connection to the Marsh family and the people of Innsmouth. His heritage is the horror along with his hideous acceptance of the fact.  Why doesn't my brain get this? Just because I see the game being played doesn't mean I know how to play. I watch poker all the time and I have a basic understanding of the rules. To put that into writer context I can see the subtlety George Martin weaves in his stories but I don't know how he's doing it. I see the small details thst add up to defining a character, from Tyrion's love of whores to his quest for knowledge. It all adds up to ...

I recall reading "At The Mountains of Madness" when I was in my teens. I was so fascinated by the strange Elder Thi ga that he described. I remember drawing out the description because it was too weird for me to understand. I still have that drawing somewhere in my old notebooks. It just shows what an impact Lovecraft has had on my life.

I've been cooking. The new character is coming along and I've been playing Lovecraft games. I'm in the zone. I've even wrote a few paragraphs today before I had to leave for work. So I haven't had time to update. I'll post when I've got something new which will likely be tomorrow.

I recall that we had specialized history books in my middle and high school. They listed population, nation size and religion. I knew they were outdated because the listed Russia as the USSR. But religion was always brought to attention usually a paragraph or two into the country's briefing. Of course there was mention of how evangelism efforts were proceeding, mostly for the non Christian areas. Even Catholic majority areas were mentioned in, less than positive light. These countries weren't condemned but Catholicism was treated as outdated and other religions wre treated almost like an infection with the added phrase "with a growing protestant ministry." I've always been fascinated by other religions, something my fellow students didn't always enjoy. I even gave a presentation on the Dark gods of the Cthulhu mythos when I was in high school.  Now I look back and wonder if the same would have happened to me if I was Budhist or Taoist or Muslim. Would the same...

I wonder if Lovecraft felt persecuted. I ask this because I'm reading his story "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward." In it, the named character has his heritage investigated by his doctor to discover the root of Ward's madness. Ward's heritage us traced to Ward's ancestors Joseph Curwin who preformed maddening acts of witchcraft and science and contrary acts of kindness and fellowship to the locals. Most likely this was a veiled attempt of Curwin to hide his more unfavorable acts from the community. I'm only at the halfway point in the story but as always, Lovecraft paints a masterpiece of horror. It's fascinating how each chapter or paragraph contains hints of the evil in the Ward family thst kept me on my seat.  But back to my main point, does Lovecraft use Curwin as a metaphor for himself? Usually Lovecrsft stories have someone researching into things far beyond what should be safe which leads them to monsters. But Curwin is the main investigator in t...

I figilured I'd write a bit since I'm not doing much research. I'm struggling with this girl character. The tools I'm using are helping but she doesn't seem right. Aimee, her name, isn't coming out well. She's missing something special in her that makes me like the other characters. I wonder what it is that I'm missing.  This was originally written two weeks ago