TPA 30

I am better today. I don't want to go to work but at least I'm not fantasizing about jumping off my roof. I suppose that's an improvement. I haven't done my exercises or prayers today and I doubt I'll be doing the latter for a while. I feel like I've been abandoned by God. Or maybe this is just reality to me now. I'm trying to think about something happy because I found out from my friend that the police came over yesterday. They called them "The Squad" and they're supposed to check if I'm a danger to myself or to other people. I was at work so my friend answered the door for me. He asked me when I got home if I was ok. I'm better now but there's still trauma here and there. I want to get better. I hope to get better. Going to work and putting on the uniform helped. At least yesterday it did. Today, I don't know.

I want to talk about something happy, from a time when I was happy. Or at least a time that I see through rose-collored glasses. There's this game called "Megaman Legends" that I used to play on my PS1. I now play it on emulator on my PS3 but the physical copys still remain in my collection. The games came to me via my grandma's house. After a three hour journey to Indiana, I discovered that she had bought a hand-me-down PS1 and a few games. Most of these games were mediocre crap but Megaman Legends stood out to me. After I played it for an hour, I was hooked. I think I've mentioned how much this game meant to me before but I'll state that this game had a large impact on what I expect out of good games. It's not perfect but there is something wonderful about the style behind it. It's this attempt to make the game look like an anime and despite it being way behind the games that come out today, it's still more memorable to me. It stuck with me long enough that I was able to convince my dad to buy me a PS1 and a copy of the game a few months later after our trip to the YMCA. Kind of the opposite of what he was going for with me, but he was in a good mood. I was happy that day, I remember that much. I recall playing it until it was bed time and waking up to play it in the morning before school. I suppose I should tell you what the game is about.

Following the line of other Capcom Megaman games, the game features a new Megaman named Megaman Volnutt. You are a digger, someone who dives into ancient tombs looking for these crystals that can power technology. Why these caves and tombs exist? No one knows. It's like being on an archeological dig that (I just realized that this is why he's a digger) has a lot of danger. You fight these Reverbots with your Buster Gun and any other weapons you can find. Your sister/love interest, Roll, (I'm not sure which because the game doesn't make it clear) upgrades your parts and builds new weapons for you. Some of the best include a drill you can use to dig into the walls in the caverns and a vacuum that sucks up the money that the Reverbots leave behind. It all plays into this world where you feel like something bigger is going on. What is hidden in the underground ruins? I suppose I'll never know and neither will the other people who love this game. I'll get to that in a minute. The game's crown jewel, besides the neat voice acting and the great gameplay, was the music. I have those tunes etched into my brain. When they disect my head, for whatever reason, they'll hear the tune from Apple Market pop up. The beats were made by Makoto Tomozawa and most are bangers and some are legends (pun intended). It's hard to describe music in written form but there's a pleasantness in Apple Market's sound. A jolly beat that makes you want to skip along with the simple piano keys and flute. Music, especially back then, had to be simple because sound always takes up the most room on the disk or cartrage. In fact, there's some clips in the PS1 version of Megaman Legends that wasn't imported to Megaman 64 on the Nintendo 64 because they used cartrages. There's this amazing beat from an area called the Main Gate which has an exciting string section that pumps you up as you venture deeper into the gate. I was scared of that music at first, I thought it was the final battle because it sounded like that kind of music. There's even these quiet moments in the game such as when you venture into Old Town. There's no music, only the rabid dogs that attack you that you can kick. That seems to be a theme in the game, no, I'm not kidding. There's a TV station you can visit and play games to win prizes. One of which is where you kick a ball at a mechanical dog chasing a mechanical man. It's something that wouldn't fly by on today's radar. Must be something that's Japanese. The town is main attraction of the game. You can put money into a bank (for no reason), help the cops stop a bombing, help some robots open up a resturant, and help these kids set up their own secret base. It's strange because the parts that connect these events and exploring the dungeons underground are thinned out. There's a wide open area you can explore outside the town that really has no purpose. In fact, you can explore most of the island and have nothing to do. Maybe that's why the game is only eight hours long. Even the dungeons are connected and only hindered by the player's access to tools such as spring shoes. The game featured a group of pirates who serve as the main antagonists. A goofy bunch of people who are trying to get to the treasure hidden under the island and threatening to destroy the town if they don't get what they want. The gang includes their leader, Tiesel, the younger baby brother robot (I always thought his body was inside the robot due to some tragedy) and Tron Bonne the mechanic. She has this army of forty servbots that look like Lego mini figures. How Capcom got away with that, I do not know. It's a caroony, anime set up with some real stakes on the line at the end. More secrets are revealed as Megaman's past and purpose come into play along with the fate of the island. The game also has this interesting moral system built in, I'm not talking about the sequel where Megaman's armor changes from blue to black if you do bad things, but one that's built into the narrative. Being the honest, good boy that you are, get access to a lot of trust and items that the pirates don't get. Like the key to the last dungeon in the game which is something the pirates were dying to get. It's this cozy sense of trust that these npcs have for you and your efforts, of which include saving a pregnatn woman and helping a kid walk again. You get parts that you can use to make weapons in the game but it's just a stark contrast from when you are fighting reverbots. 

The second game is something I've never played. It's "The Misadventures of Tron Bonne." You play as the antagonist Tron who has to do tasks to get money to save her two brothers. I'll have to play this game some more before I can give an honest opinion but would that matter? Megaman Legends 1 and 2 were from my middle school days. Even if I play the inbetween game it's not going to have the same effect. There's also some extra content that was in the demo disk that I never got. I heard a lot of extra content was in the Japanese release which is a shame.

The second game, Megaman Legends 2 has less of an appeal to me. It's not a bad game, the gameplay is better and the music is still banging but there's something missing. It's a cohesive island. This time Megaman has access to four islands and a flying ship. The game is spread out even further with less people that you get to know. It's these little things in the first game that add up like being able to kick the can into the baker's shop. For a reward of a thousand zenny, of course. But I think I only played Megaman Legends 2 once or twice in my life compared to the dozens of times I played Megaman Legends 1. I think I'll have to play it again to stir up those old memories. The only thing that really sticks out to me is this quiz one of the islands had that you had to pass to get these special tools you needed to create a special weapon. I had more time back then so I recall trying to get as much money as possible to upgrade my weapons. That's the other criticism I have for both these games: there's not enough action to warrent this much grinding. You have to spend money to upgrade your special weapons which you can only carry one at a time. That already sucks especially when you need something like the vacuum to get all that zenny lying around. It always disappears so fast. I remember spending litterly hours on the first game trying to get this thing called the Active Buster fully upgraded to the max so I would never run out of ammo. I was a kid then and hated that grinding. It would have been better if there were more places to explore. Or maybe if the money didn't fade away so quickly that I could pick it up in time. Like I said, I was a kid then. I know games were limited back then but they could have cut down on the grinding a little bit. The final battle reveals more about Megaman and what happend to Roll's parents but like the first one it ends on a cliffhanger. Megaman is stuck in space and the others are trying to figure out how to get him home.

Then there's the third game that never came out for the 3DS. I was stunned when I heard this was coming out. I had my wallet ready. But Capcom cancelled the game. And it's been waiting in the vaults somewhere ever since 2011. Will I ever see another game in my lifetime. Probably not but the impact these games had on me was astounding. If, no when, I get to make my own games, they'll be based on this and Final Fantasy 9. 

You know, it's almost time for me to go to work but I almost got two thousand words in today. I wasn't even feeling it but I got it in. I'm proud of myself.