Mental Health and Suicide

At the age of fourteen, Howard Lovecraft contemplated suicide. At such an age his mental health had deteriorated to a point where death was considerable solution. At the same age, maybe older, I also thought about suicide. School and life do strange things to people. All of us feel mental pain at some point but where I had therapy and drugs to turn to, Lovecraft likely had to bury these feelings or face the same fate as his father. Today I am much better, mostly because I take my medicine like I'm supposed to. But I wonder, if I had would my events of school been as bad? It wasn't all bad, I made friends and I graduated from college so I'm one up on Lovecraft. I tend to look back at life in either extreme good or bad lenses. The loss of his father and grandfather must have hurt him to a large degree. He describes himself as an old man at the age of fourteen. Most fourteen year Oods are thinking about girls or their future plans. What was going through his mind to consider death? For me, I felt like an outcast. School was a constant burden with the piles of homework and occasional sports event. It was a mix of good and bad because there were good people there but there was also the bully too. The good mixes with the bad. At such an age when my body was changing with puberty, I didn't understand what was going on. At ti.es I too felt like an old man. The constant social garage left me seeking consolation in books and games. These were an oasis in a dry desert of social demands. Top it with right wing Christianity being ingrained into me and feeding my black and white autistic view of the world. Let me reiterate: there were good times at school. I appreciate my classmates and teachers. One teacher is my psychologist today. There will always be bad times and how you deal with them shapes how you'll see the past and walk to the future.