The Realm of Forgotten and Abandoned

There's a place of disatisfaction in my soul. A place where stories are left incomplete. I remember in college I got into the world of fanfiction. I thought it was facinating that there were others like me who liked a story and decided to make their own version. I had often thought about "what if the story went this way or that way" and here was a bunch of people doing just that. But this opened me to a paler side of my life. Not darker as if it was blackened by some kind of evil, just a world of incomplete stories. You see, fanfiction authors are not paid by anyone. They write for the sake of writing, for fun. And they are under no obligation to finish their story. This was when I would wake up and check my computer to see if someone's story had updated. I would sometimes send them messages to check up on them and offer encouragement in hopes of getting another chapter. Many promised the moon but delivered a rock. They wanted to be the next epic tale. Hundreds of chapters fixing what many felt were flaws in a story. My favorite, and the most popular subject, manga (particulary Naruto) was a popular destination for fans of a series. Many of them were harem projects, fantasies about the writer's favorite character getting all the girls. But some of them had more effort put into them then sex. Some reached out and touched me in this inner desire to write and fix stories that didn't seem to go the way that you wanted them to go. Anyone who reads a story and really, truly connects with a character, hates to see them go through pain or problems. In fact, one might comfort themselves with an alternative story where the hero always wins. That's the right word "comfort." It's comfort food for the soul. Happiness, joy, anger, lust, these kind of feelings are brought up while writing fanfiction. People feel vendicated by giving their version of the character a type of justice, something lacking from the original source. They identified so much with the story and character, why shouldn't they be allowed their satisfaction. Only, many of these stories were never finished. If you go to any fanfiction site you'll rarely see the "completed" tag on them. Writing for newbies can be a long and painful process. You might realize you don't have the skills to make the next Lord of the Rings epic. You might burn out on chapter five of sixty. And you might discover that the satisfaction you were seeking isn't worth the effort. Life happens as well. People lose interest or find a new project to work on. Many of the fics I read in college remain unfinished and were probably written by highs choolers or college students. They grew up, got jobs, got families, and left their story abandoned. It's sad because some of these stories were interesting and touched me in a way I didn't realize. I wanted to see them completed too, even if the writing was poor or the plot was weak, they deserved to be finished. Some writers even completed their story in haste leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth. I know these stories aren't cannon (these are written wishes of cannon) but it's sad to see this pile of unfinished works listed on a site. It's like an irritation I can't get rid of. I still keep a few stories in my phone tabs to reread and remember the good days. Today, fanfiction isn't as popular. People have moved on or grew up or gave up. And I'm left with this feeling of unfulfilment where stories don't get finished. After a time, I gave up on hoping they would be finished. I see the same thing in comics and manga and light novels. Stories that somehow captured my attention remain unfinished. It drives me insane. So, I abandoned fanfiction. I had my own stories in my head, but what was the point if I didn't know the end. Anyone can have an idea but it takes someone with skill to see it through.

My own fanfic in my head? I think that in heaven I'll be able to talk to these writers and convince them to finish their story. I want to go to a place where the story never ends and ends.