Another another attempt

 I'm better today. I went to the dentist this morning and he offered to take the tooth out that's been causing me so much pain. Only a thousand bucks which I don't have. Thankfully my parents will help me but still I feel weak for not being able to pay for it myself. Add to the fact that I haven't really bought a game for over a month. I've done my usual spending, ten bucks here and there but nothing big. Which is fine because I have plenty to play and not enough time. But that's the problem with pain is that you don't want to do anything. Instead, you feel like you have to wait for the pain to heal. It hurts a lot when you can't do anything. Like wallowing in your own misery. 

The dentist I saw today wasn't much help. When I told him I wanted to wait, he looked at me like the golden goose that got away. I guess he did lose out on some cash but I need my insurance to pay for most of it and he doesn't take medicade. Now I have to stew in misery until Monday when I can call the medicade dentist. Hopefully, they can remove this tooth but then I have to get a stud put in and a fake tooth put in over the next year. I would have been fine leaving the gap in my mouth but my parents said it could affect the other teeth. So now I HAVE to get a tooth put in. That's not going to be fun. I heard writing can be like pulling teeth and I certainly have experience in that area. A while back I got a molar pulled. No tooth was put in and I chew fine without it, but this new one is a premolar, right after the inscisor. I guess its important. I spend most of my days just waiting for time to pass. It's hard to work or have fun when you're in pain. You don't want to do anything. Prayer doesn't seem to help either. I just wish God had reached out an healed my tooth so I don't have to go through this mess. It's my fault anyway, I'm the one who chewed all that ice and wore down my teeth. Maybe I should just get metal dentures. That would solve the problem. As long as I have my tongue I'm probably fine.

I wonder what they think of me at work. I built this story in my head that they all think I went to an asylum for treatment. Some of them know I'm autistic but how much do they know about autism? They all likely think I'm crazy. That's no fun. I feel bad about missing work but I need this time to heal mentally and physically. It's weird but I've had a nasty cold, a mental drop, and a toothache all in two months. I really needed the time off I guess. 

I haven't been reading as much as I should. I don't know why. I feel down when I don't contribute to my dreams in some way. But what are my dreams? Fame? Fortune? What? I think I'd like to write something I'm proud of. Something that Stephen King would read, that's something I'd be proud of. But I've read some of the stuff he recommends and it ain't that great. Some people aren't as good writers or they don't catch my attention like King does. 

Let's see, what else happened today? Got pizza with my folks so that was fun. Oh, I forgot the biggest thing. I wrote notes on an outline of a story I can do tomorrow, if I'm feeling better. It's about a dentist who puts monsters inside a patient's teeth as fillings. So they burrow into his brain through his gums. Explains all the pain I've been having and I wouldn't put past a dentist to torture someone. I kid, I know that dentists are good people but they are the only doctors who seem to constantly torture their patients with drills and scrapers. This could be one of those stories I just finish, not one that I have to worry too much about like with KIY or RTF. The beauty of this one is that it doesn't have to be perfect, just completed. I think I can do that. Give me a week or so and we'll see what comes out. That's the deadline I'm setting for myself. Unless something comes up like my tooth gets removed and I can't think thanks to all the drugs. I think that if I get enough money that I'm going to have all my teeth replaced with metal like a James Bond villain. No more worrying about chipped teeth. What was that guy called again? Jaws! That's his name. Classic villain, envious position. He can bite through a coconut with those chompers. Ok. I'm going to take a break now.