TPA 20

I received a nasty wake up call from my dad today. He transferred some money to me but in the process saw how low my bank account was. It's less than fifty dollars. I'm getting paid this week so it's not a huge problem, what is a problem is that I've worried my parents. I like to think I can take care of myself but the truth is that I'm stuck in these black and white, on and off thinking patterns that disrupt my daily activities. For example, I worry about money or not at all, I spend too much or I hoard too much. I forget that money is very limited and I can't afford to spend it all on games and books and fast food. I have bills to pay and gas to buy. If only I had that disability payments that the government promised me. But I don't and I have to work through that. Does God care? It seems like he doesn't when it comes to things I really need. I want to be independent from my family. I don't care if I have to live off the government, I want to be stable. I don't want to worry my folks. It's strange because the things I want to buy I could get if I just saved my money a bit. Nothing like a new computer or something like that but the best games always cost a bit more. Sometimes I think I'd rather buy a few things I don't really want than save for what I want. 

I don't really want to write, but I'll still try. 

I have to go back to work today. My focus always seems sharper when I have less time. I wonder if that's the case for writers like King and Ellison. Did they have off days, or days when they didn't feel like writing? I have this story I want to work on but all I have is pieces. Just bits of the story that don't fit together. I guess I should try discovery writing and see if that helps. Honestly, I'm so down on myself sometimes that I don't feel like writing or doing anything. I want this to feel good but it's not immediate like when I'm playing a game. No wonder Stardew Valley is so addicting to me. It's a game with always something satisfying to do in it. Or something to build towards. I don't see that with writing. I feel like I'm wasting my time. 

Ok, enough complaining. What else can I write about today?

Gleipnir Chapter 15: A special contract.

Chapter opens with Claire on the phone with a guy in glasses at a school. He asks her how she has his phone number. "You were beling blackmailed by a monster named Sudo, right?" She responds. The guy freezes. He asks if she's with Sudo. Claire denies it and says she's on his side. She sends him a picture of Sudo being split in half. The guy asks what Claire wants, she says she wants to join his group. We cut back to Claire and Shuichi standing on a building. She says that the guy she talked to needs to speak to his friends first before they can join. She hands Sudo's phone to Shuichi. On it, there are pictures of other people with disguises. One has a biker's helmet, one is in a hooded robe, and one has a telescope for a head. Claire says that collecting together might be a better idea since one of them might know about Claire's sister. I like the dynamic between them. Shuichi wouldn't dare join a group. He'd be to afraid. At the same time, why am I so bored with this? Am I losing it? Claire says that they saw her talking on the phone to someone which means she has friends who are also collecting. They need allies. Shuichi reflects on how Claire's sister said that she was the one who transformed Shuichi and how she was supposed to be the one inside of him. Shuichi asks if he thinks their meeting was a coincidence. Claire hugs him and says it was fate. We cut to an abandoned building in the woods. The characters from the picture are there as well as the girl from the last chapter. She's wearing a bikini top and a hocky mask with shorts on the bottom. The girl asks if Shuichi can undo the transformation. When Claire asks why, the girl explains its because that Ikeuchi, the telescope kid that Claire called earlier, invited them. The girl explains that their team is weak and that anyone who wants to join has to make a special contract. I got to be honest, this feels a bit too convenient for the plot. I'm probably over thinking this. The girl says that in order for the contract to take effect, they have to go back into human form. The girl says that they won't be able to join them otherwise. Claire asks for a minute. The others aren't sure what is going on but it looks like Claire is talking to herself. Shuich seems eager but Claire has reservations. Claire returns and says that she'll be the only one who makes the contract. Claire says that she doesn't have a life to get ruined anymore so so she doesn't have any secrets. I like this idea from Claire where she doesn't have anything to lose. It's a good motivator.  Claire emerges from Shuichi which surprises the others. "I'm just a normal human by the way. This fursuit's the collector." One of the others says that Shuichi's transformation is messed up. Claire says she'll have Shuichi make the contact if they think they can trust them. Claire goes off with the girl and has Shuichi stay behind. As they walk, Claire says that she didn't think that there were people who's bodies didn't change when they transform. She says that most of them there are wearing masks to hide their faces, except the guy who talked to Shuichi, the one that called him messed up. Claire thinks that he transforms into a handsome guy instead. The pair reach a room and Claire asks how this contract works. The girl takes off her mask and top which surprises Claire. She says that she has an ability to make sure secrets are protected. Cut back to Shuichi who is sitting on the floor. The girl in the biker helmet comes up to him and asks if she can pet his head. Ikeuchi calls out to the girl. "Stay away from him Yoshoko." The handsome guy says that no one that looks that dumb can be dangerous and Ikeuchi was the one who invited them anyway. Shuichi lets her touch his head. The girl says he's cute and that she can tell what animals are feeling. Shuichi says he's human.

I suppose this is working. I don't want to waste time that I don't have right now. I feel so pressured to get work done that I torture myself. So let's jsut try again.

Chapter 16: Promise

Chapter opens with Claire saying that she doesn't trust the group. The girl says "That's just mean. Weren't you the one who wanted to join us?" The scene closes in on the girls topless breasts. Ok, part of me likes this and part of me doesn't get it. It's like part of me is questioning why someone is taking off their top in front of a stranger. I know that the answer will be revealed later but it just seems strange to me. This is a strange day to write. Claire asks if the girl isn't suspicious of her. She says that she could be someone who just wants to kill them all. The girl says that Claire was lying shen she said she knew Ikeuchi  She asks what Claire did to him. "That's a secret." Claire says with a smile. The girl asks if Claire would really pick a fight with someone she knows nothing about. "How do you know Ikeuichi didn't tell me?" Claire asks. "He didn't, he's still alive after all." The girl responds. Claire looks shocked. She asks if revealing a secret is what kills them. The girl says that she can't stand people who can't keep secrets. She asks what Claire is after since she's collecting coins even though shes not a collector. We cut back to a scene of Shuichi being hugged by the girl in the helmet. Claire asks if she can get her phone really quick. She goes back and stares daggers at the girl who is hugging Shuichi. She grabs her phone and humphs at the girl after she gets her phone. Back in the room, she shows the masked naked girl the picture of her sister. She explains why she's after her sister and says her name. This is the first time in the manga that they said Claire's sister's name. Elena Aoki. I think this is a good way to build up who the big baddie is. We only know here a "Claire's sister" up until this moment. I always wonder about how to introduce character's names which is hard for me. The masked girl says that she does know Elena. Claire jumps at that info. The girl says that if they join them that she'll tell her what she knows about Elena. Back with Shuichi, he's sitting next to the girl in the helmet who seems fond of him. He asks what is behind the contract. The girl says she can't answer since that's a secret that she can't reveal but he's free to ask him about her. This is a strange way to add more mystery and tension to the plot but I like it. There's this back and forth scene where the girl and Shuichi are staring into each other's eyes. Shuichi asks why she is looking for coins. The girl thinks for a moment and says that she's not interested in all the power that the alien was talking about. But she was worried that someone with a lot of power might destroy her school or family and she had to do something about it. Shuichi realizes that she's the same as him. "Doesn't make sense right? Someone whos as weak and scared as me." We cut to Ikeuichi in his transformed form looking mad. We can't see his emotions because he looks like a telescope."She looks excited." The handsome guy says. The girls asks if Shuichi can help her find her wallet that she lost on the mountain. The girl is worried because if someone bad finds it, it could lead to trouble because it has her ID in it. Cut back to the room where the girl is taking off her gloves. There's a bed that Claire is sitting on. Claire says that the potions they got from the alien alter their body according to their desire but the girl seems like a normal human. The girl says that not everyone has a complex about how they look. I like this. I know I have a complex about how I look. Since she's almost naked we can see a plus symbol on her side, just like Shuichi's eye. She says that most problems are in the heart or in relationships. She asks Claire to lie down to begin the contract. She says that she loved someone, a teacher who didn't return her affections. So she went to a friend for help. She found her teacher had hung herself after a few days. Claire asks if the teacher was a man or a woman. The girl fondles Claire and says it was a woman. Claire looks away embarrassed. She narrates that she doens't like where this is going as we cut to Shuichi and the girl exploring the mountain. 

That should be the two thousand word count. Today, I beat Hell or Highwater. Eat that Stephen King. But I think I'll write more. Lets see if I can work on my Cain story.