TPA 23

Several good things happend to me yesterday. When I walked in yesterday I met an elderly woman who worked at the facility. "Six two or six three." That's the first thing she said to me. I picked up immediately and told her six two. She went into a story about how she knew an athlete who was six three and whenever she hugged him she head to stand on a stool or the stairs to hug him or she'd hug his navel. She proceeded to ask me what my degree was in. I told her I was unsure if it was a B.A. or a B.A.S. or something like that. To my knowledge I haven't looked at my degree in years as it hangs on my parent's house. It's easy to forget your own accomplishments and then you forget how to treasure them. As we talked she said that she worked with mental health. At least, I think that's what she did. She said that she helped people through personal problems but she didn't say she was a therapist or a counselor. I don't know what type of job she does that doesn't involve those titles. She went on to tell me her name, She was a Ms. Boyd who worked in the Chelsea divison of the building. Our paths had never crossed because I work on the Roxbury side. Ms. Boyd told me how she had one session where two guards entered in with her patient. One opened a briefcase and used it to scan for listening devices. Apparently her patient had a fragile past that he wished to keep secret. I'm not sure if this was the same patient, but she told me that one of them was part of the mafia. I remember thinking how mafia members, who are supposed to be emotionless had some kind of issue inside of him that needed therapy. We talked for almost ten minutes, I listened for more than eight of them before we parted ways. She asked me to look up my B.A. and tell her about it whenever I had the chance. She even wrote down her office's mailing address, which I didn't know we had, and handed it to me on a piece of paper. What a woman. She talked my ear off and made me ten minutes late to my job but I didn't care. I was happy to talk to someone like her. You'd think someone who listens to other people's problems would be quiet but she was loud and her charisma exceeded her small size. If I ever find my degree I'll send it to her. I want to talk to her more, maybe there's a book in it.

Another good event happened the same day. I went to bed and I noticed that my CPAP felt comfortable. There are days I go to sleep and there's this internal panic inside of me that I'm not getting enough air. It feels like I'm drowning without water. That desperate need for air you have when you hold your breath for too long. Like a dry gasp for breath. But last night the nozzel fit in perfectly so there was no issues. That night I had some great sleep but what was better was the dream. I remember about one out of ten dreams but the one that crops up the most is about my high school friends. I regret that I didn't establish better relations with my fellow classmates in high school and because of that I have this recurring dream that I'm trying to get my friend's email addresses before they leave or we graduate. It's an effort to remain in contact with them after I'm gone. As it currently stands, only one person I met in high school is still reachable. No one is on social media anymore so it's hard to make connections. But in this dream, everyone was willing to sit down with me and not only tell me their email addresses but their life story. They offered a way for me to connect with them on a deep, personal level. I spent the whole dream, time in dreams is often relative, asking them questions while a buffet was behind us in case we wanted to eat. It seems like a strange dream, almost like the dreams that Joseph from the Bible received. A prophecy or maybe a form of encouragement. I think this dream and Ms. Boyd might be connected. The whole day I felt this...aura around me. Like how someone feels when a day is perfect and nothing can go wrong. There must be a connection, or maybe it was just a blessed day. I haven't had one of those days where everything feels right for a long time. I wish I could have more of them. Today feels similar. Even though it's almost over, today went well. There's this peace inside of me, like a still lake after a storm, a feeling that flows out of me.

I think that's all for now. I'll write the breakdown later. 

Gleipnir Chapter 17: Ritual

I think my issue with this chapter is the sudden vagueness that the girl has with losing her wallet. It's just such an out of left field moment and doesn't have any build up or logic to it, that it takes me out of the story. Maybe this is where I started to lose interest. Maybe if they showed her losing her wallet earlier, then I would have been more into it. Setup is important.

Shuichi and the girl (Chihiro) are in a field looking for the wallet she lost.. The girl lags behind and explains that even when transformed that this is all she can do. Shuichi asks if she isn't already transfomred, she takes off her helmet and asks him not to laugh. She has a pair of fox ears on her head. "Oh, I get it now." Shuichi says. Chihiro starts to cry. "No! I just like animals!! I want to be a vet!!" She explains that she thought the ability would let her hear how animals talk but her appearance is just the alien messing with her. Shuichi thinks that he never wanted to be like this either. Shuichi offers to look for her wallet on his own and climbs a tree to get a better view. He says there are dangerous people here and that he might not be able to smell it if she's with him. He pitties her and narrates how she's like him, she knows she's weak and can't just sit back. Chihiro makes a proposal: what if she goes inside him like Claire. When Shuichi rebuffs her she asks if his "girlfriend" would get mad. I think the sexual charges in this series are one of the few draws. It's a crutch that the series gets by on but it certainly interested me enough to do this breakdown. Shuichi denies that Claire is his girlfriend and says her clothes would get dirty. As she removes her clothes, we pull back to see Ikeuchi watching them in his telescope form. He watches in horror as Chihiro strips and enters Shuichi. He zooms in on her naked form and grabs his crotch as she enters him. All the while whispering for her to stop. Once inside, Chihiro notes how she feels like she's one with Shuichi. She tries walking and trips. Shuichi notes how different she is from Claire. From the beginning, she had a handle on how to control Shuichi. Chihiro can sense Shuichi thinking of Claire. She probes again, asking if they are in a relationship which Shuichi denies. He thinks of all the things that they've done together. He saved Claire from a fire, she kicked him off a building, and they killed another student together. He grimaces and says they aren't anything like that. Shuichi tries to hide Chihiro's clothes but when he picks up her panties, he realizes that she's naked inside him. He asks if she's stupid, she asks why he's happy about her being naked inside of him. The pair fight and walk off looking for Chihiro's wallet. We cut back to Ikeuchi who's angrily crying. Back at the building, Claire and the girl (Sayaka) are embracing. Claire asks if it wouldn't be better if they did something like this after getting to know one another better. Sayaka backs off to Claire's relief. Sayaka gets dressed and shows Claire a braid of her hair. A choker that will decapatate them if they break their vow. Claire asks why she has such a specific power. Sayaka explains that people who have a vague image in their head transfomr into monsters when they drink the potion the alien offers. Sayaka says she got this power to punish people who don't keep promises. Claire wonders if Shuichi transforms into this monster because he has a vague image of himself. Claire agrees to wear the choker. Back at the mountain a boy picks up a wallet. He's with Claire's sister and another person. Ok, so the tension is wratcheting up a bit which is good. I think the writer has a vague understanding of what he is doing. Now that I think of it, a lot of the manga I like have issues. I still like them but I guess it's how deep you are willing to give over to the work and how much you're willing to let go.