The Blog In Yellow

I'm proud of myself, I got a lot done yesterday. More than I had hoped for. I wrote a...I don't know what it is...of my Cain story. It's a breakdown of what happened before the story began so maybe a synopsis? I added more to the story which helped flesh it out. I can't believer I'm doing all this work for a short story. I should be doing more for my KIY story but I'm not going to push myself too far. I think I need to be more secure in myself to write more for that story. I wonder if this is how George Martin feels. He's been delaying the next book for years and it must be hard with all that pressure on him. But seriously, getting that summary done was a load off my shoulders. I also got more of Koudelka done. I'm just trying to finish what I started. It's just something I feel I need to do because I'm tired of not leaving games and projects half done. It feels good to say that I'm finished with something no matter how trivial.  Right now I...

I'm trying something different. I'm in the lobby at my housing complex to get away from all the distractions at my house. I'll be writing for a few minutes and then jumping back and forth between other tasks to get more stuff done. Maybe this will work, maybe not. We'll find out. I was walking with my mom today and we talked about my character results from an online test I took. It struck me that I wasn't listed as trustworthy. My folks explained that while I have great ambitions, I promise the moon and can't deliver. During our walk I was talking with my mom about this revelation. She said that it wasn't that I was lying, I promise too much. I realized that the same happens to me. I demand that I write as much as Stephen King in one day and I barely get a thousand words out while he's printing six pages a day. I barely read and he's reading several books in a week. King is a machine, there's no doubt about that. To get to that level may be diffi...

So for the sake of pages, I thought I would talk about Palworld and Koudelka and mention why I like Palworld so much. Then I'll finish with a few more pictures from Koudelka. Palworld is like Pokemon. You capture strange animals in the wild which art style doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the world, and instead of training them you use them to build stuff for you. There are pals that lay eggs which you can feed to your other pals which are busy making you more pal balls. You can send a bunch of pals off to a dungeon and have them grab supplies for you which helps with collecting loot. Then all this stuff feeds back into the base building aspect which admittedly doesn't have a lot of depth to it. I do wish that the developers would make more items for me to use to decorate and add more pals. As it stands, there is about a hundred and fifty pals that you can find, I've already found forty which means I'm a third of the way done with the game. There's lots to e...

Ok, lets finish up from yesterday. My dad showed me something interesting yesterday. There's a printout of Jesus smiling and holding out his hand towards the viewer. Dad said that he had that hung up because of a lesson he learned from a coworker from India. The friend, his name is Vinky, said that he gave a statue to a guy who said he always had bad luck. He was to smile at the statue as he left for the day and that would give him a blessing. This is based off of the religion in the region that Vinky is from. So my dad did the same but with a Christain twist. He looks at the picture and says something like "You still love me despite who I am?" I know my dad makes mistakes and he's a glass half empty type of guy but it seems odd to me that such a great man (at least to me) would need something like that. I guess we all need confidence boosters. I see my folks in such a great light that it's easy to forget that they are human. I guess this is one of those things wh...

I'll be meeting with my second therapist in half an hour. This is the second time I'll be meeting with her because she cancelled the second session without telling me or the company she works for. I can't think of much to say. I'm burning out on dopamine. I've got too many games and not enough time. I need to burn it off, do something that I hate so that I can enjoy writing and playing games again. How does King or other writers do this every day? How do I manage to do this without complaining every day? I've seen my past posts and I'm a whiner. I can't help it. I think I've always voiced my concerns. There's a lot for me to do and not enough time to do it. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. That's never a good start. I'm not looking forward to meeting this therapist. She's like rock I'm trying to crack. Just seems so cold and clinical. No warmth or humanity like my other therapist. I barely know her and it's hard t...

I've decided to do some research on the Oulipo method and see what I can come up with. I don't think I'm interested in art so much as I am in profit. Give me a moment I'm still waking up. I'm not interested in stuff that won't get me to move forward when it's this early in the morning. The problem is that the creativity doesn't flow out of me. Instead I have to squeeze it out. Reading more of "The Artist's Way" has confirmed my fears that I'm to forceful. Instead of enjoying the work I've been looking at it like a duty. When it's a duty, it becomes emotionless and dull. And I like writing down data and researching but is that really what makes a good story? I could end up like George R.R. Martin and write for days without really creating a story. But, the good news is that Julia Cameron assures me that it's not too late, which is good because I worry about my age all the time. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself ...

I will have written 365 time for a little longer than a year. It's amazing how you realize that you've writte this much each day. Not every day was two thousand words. In fact, most of them were short paragraphs I put together while on break at work. These TPA are my attempts to write three pages everyday. I hope they help me out a bit. I'm worried about what I have to do for my Cain story. It's easy to write like this and let the flow go, but with Cain I have to stop and think. This takes practice. A lot of practice. I try not to worry about how other writers are ahead of me or how I might not catch up or surpass Stephen King, but some days I can't help but go into a tailspin. It's not until I'm exhausted that I can pick myself up and shake off the dust.  Right now I'm listening a mini documentary about King Louis XIV. He's likely my favorite king of France. They called him "The Sun King" because business would come and go with him as he w...