The Blog In Yellow

Let's jump back to 2002 or 3 when I was in middle school. I recall getting a Gamecube for my birthday and one of the games I got, besides Super Smash Bros. Melee, was Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. It was better game than the first Sonic Adventure (no more wandering around or Big the Cat fishing) but I hadn't played the first one yet and wouldn't untli many years later. 2 is the obvious superior game but what drew me back, as what did with many plyaers was the Chao Garden. In between levels the player could visit a garden filled with a few eggs. Hatch the eggs and little creatures called Chao pop out that you can raise. The player had the ability to give the chao these energy drives they found or animals they picked up on while playing the action levels. Like many players, I was obsessed with raising these little creatures to the highest level I could find. Each animal or different colored energy drive upgraded a different stat for the chao. Based on what you gave them, the Chao...

Another day spoiled. I had plans to work on my tooth story but my head got in the way. I must have had a crash because I slept most of the day today.  Anyway, I finally figured out a trope from games and anime, the paternal grandparent. I've noticed this in a lot of shows and games I play where the grandparent lets the kids go off on an adventure. The example that comes to mind is Legend of Zelda: Windwaker where Link, the protagonist, has a grandmother. In other games he's had uncles or masters to look over him but this is the closest he's had to a direct relative. Of course Grandma lets Link go out to see with a bunch of pirates to save his sister because she's too old but the question you have to ask is why do these adults let kids do all the heavy lifting? I suppose it's because the reader/gamer/whatever can identify with the protagonist but the truth of the matter is that the parents would out right refuse to let the kids do something stupid like go on an adven...

I'm just waiting the next five minutes for Walgreens to open up so I can get my meds. Who waits until 10 AM to open up? I think someone is trying to hack me. Someone keeps on trying to email me who I keep labeling as spam and I got a "new" phone number from my "aid." I don't know if it's really her or not so I'll ask her the next time I see her. I got all my exercises done and I haven't played a game yet. I wish every day could be as productive as this, it's always a good day when I wake up before my alarm. Oh, and I ate only a little before bed so no drop today. Right now I'm chewing on some broccoli which will help me stay sane. Oh shoot, I have to leave early today to get some gas for my car. That always takes time and money out of me. I'm on the phone right now with Walgreens and, of course, someone else is ahead of me. How did that happen? I called the moment that they opened up. This is the worst part, waiting for the short staf...

I had a dream that I was at college. This is rare for me because I usually dream about high school or middle school. There was this gray basement area where people could study and there was these rooms off to the right where the students slept. I remember going through some of them because a pair of cute Asian girls went by and I wanted to see where they were...I dunno, roomed at. That's not a word is it? Sheesh, I am in bad form today. I don't want to write at all. I feel like I'm the worst writer whoever lived. I can't make sense of what I wanted to write about with my tooth story. I doubt it will be ready by the time Halloween comes around. This is too hard. I'm going to take a nap instead and go from there. I'd rather be asleep than think about hard stuff like this. My brain isn't ready for this type of difficulty, yet. And I think that's my problem. I try to do too much. What was I thinking trying to write ten books in one series? I have the plan fo...

There are several topics I want to cover today so let's get those pages in. First, I want to talk about my unhealth obsession with Stardew Valley. It's a game I originally bought on my Xbox. Since then I've also got it on steam and I've spent a combined time of about five hundred hourse on it. I wish I spent more time reading and writing, but what can I do? I love this game. The premise is that you play your own made up character who inherits a farm at Stardew Valley. You meet the locals, grow a couple of crops, tend to animals, and dive into the mines for materials. This game has captivated me for a reason. The music is astonishing and the story that slowly drips into the game is amazing. Recenlty, a friend of mine tried playing it and he hates the "neighborvania" aspect of the game. "Neighborvania" refers to a game where the player has to interact with NPCs to make progress. It's similar to a game called Animal Crossing where you have to intera...

I'm on hold right now. I received a letter saying my food stamps info wasn't completed. Why do I always have to pay for someone's incompetence? Why can't they just use the last year's info to verify that I'm disabled. I've been on hold for almost an hour now and I just want to relax. I figured I'd get my pages in while waiting. Yesterday, I was able to convince my boss to let me help her out. My current boss always sighs whenever she talks to me, that's a "good" sign. I asked if I could learn how to use the deep friers to cook the finger food. The residents don't always use their utensils or dislike the food we provide for them, so we offer an alternative of food flash cooked in a frier. Usually it's chicken nuggets or French fries, something that is "finger food." I told my sup that if I could learn how to do finger food, it would be one less thing she has to worry about while the head chef is out on PTO. I also got my da...

I'm going to try to get a paragraph in before I sleep. Therapy went well. Talking to him always sets my mind at a little ease. I just wish he was more like my parents because they know me better. I missed my last day of physical training but that's because my alarm wouldn't go off in time. I don't know what I want to do now. I just want to get this day over with and get on to the next one. I think I'll read tonight.

I've always had this kind of stage fright despite wanting to be the center of atteniton. Maybe it's because I know I'll make a fool of myself. It's easier to write about stuff than do actual writing due to this fear. I can't even edit. It's like trying to carve a piece of meat after it's been ruined by the initial cut. It just doesn't work. Or it's like trying to cover up a mistake on a cake with more icing, it just makes it worse. That's what happening with my tooth story. This is hard. I'll give it one more shot today.

Yesterday was a failure. I blame the lack of sleep. I've been sleeping in a strange way; a deviation from my normal writing style. I need to keep up the pace, this practice of writing three pages every day takes about a month for it to really kick in. Who know what it will do to my confidence. I'm too scared to look at my Tooth Story. What if, no, when I mess up, what do I do? I can't build a reputation if I don't have one and I can't build one if I don't put my stuff out there for others to read and critique. I spent two weeks in turmoil thinking about this story and I think today I MIGHT be able to look at it and correct it. It was fun writing in the dark, as King says, but now I have to put it in the light. How do I do that? I don't know how to edit, or write for that matter. I know how to do research for a project, that's it. I just put so much pressure on myself. God, if you're reading this, help me overcome this problem.  I think I'm just u...

I'm trying again to get over the inner critic as prescribed by the good doctor at from the book The Artist's Way. Sheesh I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I spent the last night playing Gears of War with my friend and we got close to the end. Except that we got to a point on the bridge that became really, really hard and it was past midnight and I just wanted to sleep. So, we stopped for the day but we'll be back on the weekend. I think. I don't feel like I'm making progress. The problem with any artistic endeavor is that no one can tell you how to fix it. They can tell you your work was bad but thats mostly based on opinion. No, writing isn't like ballet where you miss a step and do a flying camel instead of a puriet, pouriette, whatever that spin is called. I'm chaneling my inner Strong Bad after watching one of my favorite episodes. I should talk about the influence Homestar Runner had on my life. Someday. It's similar to comfort food like...

I'm going to continue the breakdown from here since I forgot about doing it for the past couple of days. Can you blame me? I had a tooth pulled, not a fun experience. Chapter 4: The Worst Nightmare Chapter opens with Shuichi's internal monologue about what Claire told him. "She told me...that my being able to transfrom into this must mean something. But this...probably isn't it...Because this is probably just a bad dream." Cover shows Shuichi and the girl brawling. Shuichi monologues that this has to be a dream because he's not doing anything. It shows an image of him curled up in a fetal position. The girl yells at the transformed Shuichi. "You're just jealous...you don't have any talent." The girl follows up with a kick that Shuichi catches and twists the girl's leg. The girl screams. Shuichi reiterates that he would never do this kind of thing. Shuich tosses the broken girl. As she cries we get a flashback to when she found a coin in t...

This one was a strange one because I quickly recognized the problem: the lack of Chekov's Gun. I'll get into that in a moment. The story follows two necromancers, Mmatmuor and Sodsma who travel to this land called Tinarath to practice their dark arts. Unfortunately for them, they are thrown out and head to the dead land of Cincor where they begin to raise the dead. One of the aspects that is common among Lovecraftian-style of writing is that the stories don't go into details of the spells. It's like the opposite of Harry Potter where each spell has a name and a purpose and a way to cast them. Here, the spells are intentionally vague. The pair resurrect a few dead on the way to the city of Yethlyreom and reanimate many of the dead, including the royalty. The two plan to conquer the land that threw them out when the undead emperor, Illerio, begins to recall his memories. Now here's where the gun doesn't come into play, Illerio consults with an ancestor named Hesta...

I got my tooth pulled yesterday and it didn't provide me as much inspiration as I had hoped. Only the radio playing "If I lay here" by Chasing Cars which was ironic as I was laying on the chair. The procedure took less than half an hour. Three shots of numbing and a few quick tugs pulled my tooth out. After surturing my gum shut the dentist gave me the okay to go home. No mess, no fuss, just a go bag with gauze for my mouth. I slept for two hours and woke up with a nasty wad of bloody, wet, gauze swishing around my teeth. I spat it out and got another. Today, the hole in my mouth is mostly closed. There's no more blood or any flesh flopping around in my mouth like the last time I got a tooth pulled. Now I need to wait and heal so I can get the implant. I look silly if I open my mouth too much with that gap in my molars. But I'm really disappointed that the experience didn't provide me a lot of inspiration. Maybe it was the lack of pain in the procedure. The se...

I'm off to get my tooth pulled today. Since I'll be conscious I should have an experience I can put into my tooth story. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to this. This is the second tooth I've pulled while having this job. Both of them were molars and the last one had some of the roots left in because they were too hard to pull out. I feel like writing a lot even though it is painful sometimes to write. I'd rather write than go get my tooth pulled. Feels like a crucifixion sometimes. I'm still fighting my inner critic but it's a daily fight that I have to get used to.  Oh, that reminds me. I found a movie I've been meaning to see for a while called Mad God. It's done by the guy who did the special effects for Star Wars and other famous films. The trailer claims that it's a movie "30 years in the making." I'm guessing he came up with the concept years ago and I completly forgot about it. It was before I thought up KIY so this could be so...

 So it looks like the site didn't save my work I did yesterday, I'm still counting it but I need to focus on the Gleipnir story I was working on. There's several things to talk about.  First, I'm getting an aching tooth pulled today which means I'll have more for my tooth story. So there's something good out of all of this. If I can recall what happens to me today, I can add it to my narrative. Whenever I go to the dentist I always wonder what people in the medieval ages did when they had tooth problems. They didn't have tooth brushes back then and I wonder how they got teeth out. I know that the local blacksmith was of help. But he only had hammers and pliers so I have to think the job was quite painful. Second, I recalled a strange dream I had yesterday. It was like I was in an underground city preparing for siege. The town was about to be attacked by something, probably monsters, and we lived underground with bright lights above us. Like we were in a buil...

So, the good news is that I'm ahead of the curve. I thought I was missing the mark by barely doing three pages a day. It turns out, after some research, that I was in the wrong. I thought I had to TYPE three pages a day. I must have stopped reading that Artist's Way book after reading that part because the author explains that these pages are supposed to be written long hand. Typing takes a lot less space so I've been doing double the reccomended amount. I'm glad I don't have to dedicate my whole life to this. It means I can still play games and watch Youtube and do the lounging stuff I love to do. Like writing but I'm not in love with it, yet. So I'm at the half way point where I can get almost two thousand words in per day. If I can increase that, I'll be up there with Stephen King and Brandon Sanderson. Speaking of the latter, I want to write my own novel in two months. I don't think I can do a novel a month like Sanderson does, just like I didn...

Well, I'm not happy. Not only do I have to write three pages, I have a paper I need to edit if I want it to be published and it's killing me. My tooth story is incomplete and I have ideas but not methods on how to fix them. It's easier to write about writing than it is to create. That's why I'm doing the three pages a day thing to get my mojo going. But it's hard. I had to wake up and exercise so that my back doesn't kill me at work. That took more than a half an hour to do so that's time lost. Tomorrow I have to go to the clinic to exercise and I like working out because I get to meditate but working out every day just isn't for me. I have to do it if I want a better back though. My back and stomach are killing me. Knives in my back, shrapnel in my stomach. I've been eating too much greasy food lately and it's killing my gut. Is this what it's like to be old? It sucks. I want to nap, not write. I think I'm a better writer as a hobbie...

Do I really have to do this? I don't want to write if I don't feel like it. You know what none of the writing books will tell you? All the "advice" they give you is just stuff that worked for them. It might not work for you, but none of the books will tell you that. Every writing book I've ever read has omitted that part.  Anyway, to fill my quota for the day, I thought I'd talk about some of the manga that inspired me. Starting with: Gleipnir. It's a manga about a kid named Shuichi who has the strange ability to transform into a dog-like mascot with a pistol. Why he can transform into this is a mystery at first but the story pulls you along with the strange ideas that it presents. Later, it is revealed that if you put this coin inside a vending machine, you can get a drink that will grant you powers. Shuichi doesn't remember ingesting such a drink which leads to the mystery. Shuichi, like anyone, is scared of his powers and often refuses to use them. ...